Putting an End to Speculation

As the Cardinals prepare to sequester themselves to elect the next pontiff, I'd like to personally remove my name from consideration. I will not run if nominated and will not serve if elected.

I cite, as justification for my reticence, my poor grasp of Latin; a well-documented fallibility in discerning the will God; and my overall non-Catholic-ness.

(Note: Any white smoke coming from my chimney this week should not be construed as anything other than my disposing of some old tax receipts.)