Thank You, Hollywood(!)

Just when I thought that the feted waters from hurricane Katrina could smell no worse, the Hollywood Elite arrived to add their fragrant bouquet.

Hey! I spy a great American! It?s Sean Penn, bailing out his leaky boat with what appears to be a paper cup! He?s off to save another life!

Thank God he's in New Orleans! Now I have something to write about.

Of course, Sean is not alone. Oprah Winfrey (may I use her last name?) is in Houston and New Orleans straightening everyone out, John Travolta (with a potential case of Night Fever) is in New Orleans and Celine Dion is reaching out on-camera (as she can?t be bothered with actually going to a disaster area because her absence from Las Vegas would cause the earth to wobble on its axis much like it did during the earthquake that caused the terrible tsunami of December 2004 and we can?t have another disaster this year) with her precise and tearful analysis of how the federal government botched the rescue.

I'm sure it's all intended to bring attention to the situation. LIKE A CATEGORY 4 HURRICANE THAT WIPED OUT HUNDREDS OF MILES OF COASTLINE, CAUSED THOUSANDS OF DEATHS, BROUGHT ON CATASTROPHIC FLOODING AND NEARLY CRIPPLED AMERICA?S ENERGY SUPPLIES WASN'T ENOUGH. (caps provided for emphasis ? as with the on-scene arrival of celebrities ? so that you'd notice because we?re all to slow to notice otherwise.)

Shouldn?t the spotlight be on the folks who've been busting their wet bottoms for days? You know? those who?ve been busy dodging bullets, enduring sweltering heat, braving poisonous waters, going without sleep and stuff like that. Sure, I know that Sean, John and Oprah were busy early on (as was the federal government, right?) and got there as fast as they (due to their prior commitments) could get there (and not like those tardy, nasty, mean and selfish folks who should have foreknown of the devastation and had the answers ready before the troubling questions spun out of the horrible vortex of the obviously Bush-inspired hurricane).

No! These brave men and women of Hollywood have descended on the suffering Gulf Coast to bring their help where help was lacking.

I feel nauseous. It causes me to use too many parentheses.

Hey STARS! (I love attention-drawing exclamation marks too.) Try doing your good works in private. Don?t tell your agents. Don?t tell your publicists. Don?t tell Entertainment Tonight. Maybe then you?ll earn the right to be called ?hero? along those who serve without attention? without accolades? and without a ?thank you? (after all, you have erred by reacting too late).

To those who have lost everything; please forgive them.
To those who have worked tirelessly to save lives; please forgive them.
To those who now spend more than one second of time thinking about their "sacrificial" visit; please forgive them.

They know not what they do.

BONUS OBSERVATION!

While writing this, my lovely bride and I were watching Boston Legal (go Captain Kirk). While watching, we witnessed a marvelous soliloquy on the blood-thirsty nature of Texas? (wasn?t Bush the Governor there?) willingness to carry-out the death penalty? representing one-third of all executions in the whole US of A! Oh MY! The HORROR!

Of course, it?s Texas that also leads the nation by embracing over a quarter-million evacuees. Heartless indeed.

Posted by Jon at September 6, 2005 10:31 PM