Ahh, Those Cultured, Intelligent British

So Gwyneth Paltrow has told a Portuguese reporter that "the British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans." She also shared: "I love the English lifestyle, it's not as capitalistic as America. People don't talk about work and money, they talk about interesting things at dinner."

Now if I weren't a dull-witted and barbaric American, I might try to refute Mrs. Coldplay by pointing out that the term "football hooligans" was not coined to describe Dallas Cowboys fans.

See here, here and here.

Sure, I wish American comedy could be classy and subtle like British humor...

And speaking of class, it must be British journalism that is fueling that sophisticated dinner conversation Gwyneth finds so stimulating.

We surrender. Unable to provide dinner companions like this View image and this View image, we have no choice but to insist that Gwyneth stay in Great Britain for the rest of her life. Since the vast majority of us over here aren't absurdly wealthy and still have to work, we may not be able to resist talking about money and our work lives at dinner. And we don't want that on our consciences.

Furthermore, I don't think we should insult Mrs. Coldplay by spending our grubby dollars on her movies and projects, which would increase the risk of those projects turning a profit, which is an ugly capitalist outcome.